2003-10-14 1:42 pm

Daily Dialogue

In the van this morning:

"She [a customer] said she didn't know how I did this walk. She said no other guy did it right like I do. I was the only one could do it."

"Yeah? Did you lick her fanny?"

"Heh heh. Nah."

"Was it smelly? Did you lick her smelly fanny?"

"Nah, there were cobwebs ..."

"Ha ha."

"And I thought if there were cobwebs there'd be a big old spider as well."

"Don't like spiders?"

"Nah."

And later:

"To me, talking in a foreign language in the office is the height of rudeness. Well, no, it's not rude, it's racialist. Coz you don't know what they're talking about. They could be talking about you. Course, I'm not saying you should stop them talking, they could have a little room or something where they go and talk their language, but otherwise they should be talking English."

On the same theme:

"All this PC stuff is getting out of hand. You can't call a blackboard a blackboard. You can't even ... I mean, take those gollywogs. When I was a kid, for years and years, that thing on the side of the fucking jam jar was a gollywog, and it was a doll as well. It didn't mean a black person. Baa-baa-black sheep, you can't say that anymore, I mean, baa-baa-black sheep? It's fucking ancient, it's from another time, like those fairy tales and ring-a-ring-a-roses. Brown girl in the ring, from the same time as that was. It's ridiculous."

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