2003-10-11 5:20 pm

Culprit

One of my housemates regularly steals my food.

Now, I don't mind the odd sausage or two going missing. What I mind is the deceit.

Why is he friendly towards me, when he steals my sausages? He even rearranges the kitchen foil in the hope that I wont notice. But no matter how you stack them, you cannot make seven sausages look like eight.

One day while I sat at the kitchen table I looked round and saw him carefully sneaking one of my cigarettes from the packet I had left on top of the fridge. He had his back to me and couldn't see me, so I watched as he slowly eased a cigarette out, careful not to make a sound, and slipped it into his top pocket. I didn't stop him. What would be the point of that? I just turned round and carried on eating, bemused and helpless.

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